Muting Videos x

I like to do this thing..

Where I watch a video on YouTube..
Then I replay it..
But I mute the sound..
And instead.. I play different music over the top..
And it completely changes the video..
It changes the meaning and the atmosphere..
It brings new light to the video..
And you feel like your watching something completely new..
And experiencing something no one else has experienced before..
It's like making your own movie..

That may be strange.. and weird..
But I love doing it x

Love Amy xxxx

Regrets.. x

I once promised myself that I would never regret anything..

That I would live every day to the full and not regret that I did..
But there are some things I do regret..
And you can't change those.. once they've happened.. they've happened..
No going back..
I don't regret the big things.. most of them.. those I chose for a reason..
No, not the big things.. but the small things.. some of them at least..
If anything.. I regret not taking chances..
Not trying harder.. or believing in myself..
The whole reason I said I never wanted to regret.. was so I could live my life..
But the truth is..
Without taking any chances.. you never get anywhere..
And you never get the opportunity to really live..
To make yourself happy..
Or to make any mistakes..
And those mistakes are what teaches you how to get it right..
I have my regrets..
And I regret that.. If that makes any sense at all..
I promised myself I wouldn't.. but I did..

I'm only human after all x

Love Amy x

Losing Touch...

Losing touch with someone hurts.
Losing someone you once knew back to front.. inside & out..
It's like losing a part of yourself..
Of the person you are.. or were..
When a lot of who you are is made up of who they made you..
And then they're not around..
You lose not only them.. but everything that went with them..
The laughs, the comfort, the company, even the tears..
Everything fades away..
When all you want to do is talk to them..
To tell them about your day.. or cry on their shoulder... but you can't..
Not like before..
Losing touch hurts..
Especially when you're the only one who notices x

Love Amy x

Those Fireworks x

I remember firework night 2009 so clearly..
One moment in particular..

We were at the St Albans firework display with everyone.. 7:30pm.. just like every other year..
The same group of people.. my friends.. my second family..
All huddled up together in the freezing cold, in amongst thousands of other freezing people.. wearing our 6 layers, thick coats, gloves, scarves and woolly hats..
All staring at the sky..

Watching the Fireworks..


This moment in particular occurred just minutes before the end..
The last song ended.. and the fireworks paused for a moment..
And then it began to play.. The penultimate song of the evening..

Sigur Rós - Hoppípolla

And the fireworks started again..

And the massive crowd.. full of children, teenagers, adults, and the elderly..

Every person fell silent..

Almost in a wave.. the field of once rowdy people.. stopped talking..

And every person stood, staring at the sky..

At the lights that drifted slowly to the ground in a shower of glitter..

Beauty and Peace..

Just Incredible.

That was my best bonfire night x

Remember, Remember, the 5th of November..

Love Amy xxx

Light x

"I was alone, completely alone, alone in the darkness that was my mind. Lost and confused, and alone, completely alone. I felt heavy, just so heavy, with the weight of my thoughts weighing me down, holding me back. But then, out of that darkness, came a light, the smallest glimmer of hope, breaking though the pain and the silence, and starting to fill the emptiness with peace and music. It grew, and grew, till the darkness and clouds that once filled my head, were gone. Faded away into nothingness, leaving only light. Love, Joy, Peace, Light. I broke free from it all. The weight of the world that was once on my shoulders lifted, the shackles that once held me down fell off, the blanket of darkness hanging over me disappeared, and all that was left was the Light, and Me."

Love Amy x